Sunday, November 29, 2009
It's far from perfect, nothing about our family is anywhere close to perfect or even functional. Most of the time people are arguing or drinking or telling less than "perfect" stories. But for some reason, none of that ever bothers me, because they are my family. And they genuinely care about each other. It's impossibly for me to "judge" them or even look badly upon them, because yes, we might have different lifestyles but who cares? It's my brother that I share a room and slept with when I was scared. It's my dad who would (and has) given me everything in his power. (Sorry, this is sounding a bit like a Hallmark movie ;)
But anyway, I love my family, and I love being in Kansas. But another part of Thanksgiving that was really great was seeing my husband!! It's seemed like lately that 8 months ago I married my absolute best friend in the world and wanted nothing more than to live with him, fight with him, and love him for the rest of our lives. But then...life sort of happend. Our schedules changed and we never saw each other, so among that and lots of other issues, we started to look at each other like, "Who are you??" So it was great to have two 4 hour drives to just be with each other. And a long weekend to just hang out. Get to know each other again..play games with our family..and of course, Trent got to go hunting and shooting with my brother and dad. I love how much they love him...
*Sigh) so anyway, it was a good weekend, great to relax and most importantly, get away from life for awhile and meet my husband again! :)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Trent and I's schedule situation just seemed to really wear on me this week, then there was an abduction and shooting (that ended in 1st degree murder) in our apartment complex, and to top it off, we had a fairly large problem with an in-law. To say the least, by the time we got to Marriage Conference on Friday night, we were both exhausted, physically (because of the in-law problem the night before) and emotionally because....well the obvious, *sigh*... I promise this post gets better!
(However not yet, lol!) Friday night, we had one session from 7-9 and after wards, we were supposed to take 10 minutes or so and talk with our spouse. And of course, we are at marriage conference, talking about marriage...we are going to have this honest, open, wonderful communication, right?? WRRONNGG. We both just sat there, tried to talk, but Trent was still upset by what had happend with our family the night before, and I was just feeling like giving up. So...here we are..downtown, in this beautiful hotel, we have this awesome view of the capital from our room. So..we go back to our room. I go to bed. Trent follows. We don't touch or talk or anything. Here we are--again--at Marriage Conference, and we go to bed feeling defeated.
Ok, now it gets better.....!!
Saturday morning, feeling a bit more refreshed and rested, we had a better time. I was still a little emotional (of course--woman feel, then act, then think). But one of the neat things that the speaker had us do was to write letters to each other. We had to pick one characteristic (which was attentiveness) and we had to write a letter and answer questions like, "When you do this I feel _____", "When you don't do this I feel_____" "Here are ways you do this well, or don't do this well". It was designed to (how I understood anyway), help us communicate. It was so funny, because the speaker said, "Ok go ahead and share you letters and don't be surprised when you husbands letter is 2 sentences and yours is 2 pages." HaHa, so true of us! And probably every couple in the room! So, we shared our letters and talked about what we had written. We didn't really "solve" anything but we decided to make it a weekly thing, to help us communicate, even when we might not see each other for a few days at a time.
Another thing that I was convicted about was keeping secrets (even the smallest ones), just to save your pride. So on the way home, I had to humble myself before Trent and confess AND ask for his forgiveness on something that I had labeled "small". But it was something that, if gone un-confessed, could have created big problems for us down the road.
And the last thing that encouraged me (well, there was more, but I don't think I have room right everything)...but I really enjoyed and was grateful for the speaker and his wife's honesty. He talked for almost the whole time about his mistakes and the struggles that they have went through. It makes us easier to go through rough patches when you know you arn't the only one. And also, hearing his honesty in his own mistakes, made me give my own husband a little more grace. Sometimes I forget that the things Trent and I argue about or struggle with are things that EVERY OTHER COUPLE STRUGGLES WITH. I can get too critical of him and think that when he messed up, he is the first man ever to....not know how to talk about his feelings, etc. But praise the Lord....he is just a man, and more so...we are BOTH sinners. And even better, we have a God that understands that and STILL loves us and helps us.
Which brings me to my very last point -----> LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH! Say what?! Yup, I said it, LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH!! We see romance movies and read books about couples that get married and say, "We'll just live on love" or "As long as we're together.." or the worse, "And they lived happily ever after" PuKe. Excuse me for being a pessimist, but it's true. Because in all of those statements, love is a feelings. That's how I have always taken it anyway. People say, "Our love will get us through anything", as if their love is this vile or magical juice that they drink and it somehow keeps them together. Today, Trent and I have been married a short 8 months, and already in that short time I have come to a halting realization that our "love" is not enough. Yes there are times of infatuation, adoration, and "in love" FEELINGS. But Heaven forbid, we (ESPECIALLY AS WOMAN) trust our feelings to direct our marriages. Our choices to love each other--our choices to respect each other--our choices to honor each other--and most importantly OUR GOD---those are the things that will create a glorious marriage.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Situations like this (I think anyway) test your marriage and relationship like crazy. Last night we finally had an evening to spend togather and we had literally just sat down when his dad knocked on the door, came in, told us what happend, then stayed the night. So..I went to bed alone, to let them talk and sort things out. A few things could have happend-- 1.) I could have gotten upset because "YOUR dad...etc". or 2.) Trent could have taken out his frustrations and worry about his dad, out on me. Either way would have turned into a fight..and probably put a big damper on this weekend.
I guess the way I see it, we are in this togather. I was thinking about our marriage vows last night and how we promise "for better or for worse", and I was thinking that to promise someone that you will be there "for better" is kind of silly...I mean, marriages arn't ruined because of good healthy, good finances, and good times. They fall apart under the stress of sickness, financial struggles, and hard times. But anyway....sometimes I have moments were I tell Trent (whether we are arguing or just going through something tough), this is definatly a "for worse" moment, lol.
We weren't meant to go through life without struggles. We are SUPPOSED to have "for worse" moments and "in sickness" moments. So knowing that, will let us "ride out the storm when it comes". Something terrible and aweful isn't happening, it's going just the way it should, in the imperfect world that we live in.
And afterwards, something very cool happends. Whether it a bad fight that we have or dealing with a family member or whatever it may be....when we "get through it", its like this huge relief for 1. And 2...we grow so much closer and have that much more love and respect for each other.
If we never had to go through the storms.....our marriages would stay at the same stale place forever.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
That being said, I have a Thanksgiving\fall recipe to share. I am getting a little ahead of myself, because we are going to Kansas to see my family next weekend, so it seems like a holiday....I have to keep reminding myself that it's only HALLOWEEN! But anyway, I made these mini creme cakes a few weeks ago and they were amazing, so I thought I'd share them....
|MINI PUMPKIN WHOOPIE PIES|
Fluffy cream cheese filling sandwiched between two moist pumpkin cookies make these Mini Pumpkin Whoopie Pies the perfect hand-held snack you just won't be able to resist!
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
1 1/4 cups granulated sugar
2 large eggs, at room temperature, lightly beaten
1 cup LIBBY'S® 100% Pure Pumpkin
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Lightly grease or line four baking sheets with parchment paper.
COMBINE flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, ginger and salt in medium bowl. Beat butter and sugar in large mixer bowl on medium speed for 2 minutes. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add pumpkin and vanilla extract; beat until smooth. Stir in flour mixture until combined. Drop by heaping measuring teaspoons onto prepared baking sheets. (A total of 72 cookies are needed for the recipe.)
BAKE for 10 to 13 minutes or until springy to the touch. Cool on baking sheets for 5 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.
CREAM CHEESE FILLING:
4 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
6 tablespoons butter, softened
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
BEAT cream cheese, butter and vanilla extract in small mixer bowl on medium speed until fluffy. Gradually beat in powdered sugar until light and fluffy.
SPREAD a heaping teaspoon of filling onto flat side of one cookie; top with flat side of second cookie to make a sandwich. Repeat with remaining cookies and filling. Store in covered container in refrigerator.
Estimated Times: Preparation - 20 minutes; Cooking - 10 minutes.
Yields 3 dozen mini pies.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
This week has been pretty slow, Monday and Tuesday I was home sick, not with the dreaded H1N1 though thankfully! I'm sort of taken back by how many cases of it there is though, I thought that is was just something that the media (like many other things) was blowing up. I still don't think that it is as bad as they are saying though. I've heard of a number of people who have had it and...what do you know...are still alive! :) We'll see though, I guess I could be eating my words in a few months, maybe it's just starting...
The only other interesting thing that happened this week was that one morning I work up, got in the shower, and started getting ready for work...and kept thinking that I heard our smoke alarms going off from the bathroom. At first I just thought I was a little nuts and hearing things, so I went into the bedroom to check it and when I tried to take it down...it was dripping water! Hmmm...so I went into the other bedroom to check that one and there was a steady stream of water coming from it. Weird...
So we called the management office (I think I would love to own a home, but that call is just so much easier than dealing with it ourselves ;), so anyway, they came and looked at it and when I got home, no more water. But I was still wondering what on earth would make water run from smoke detectors (no sprinkler system anywhere), so I went to the office and casually asked they what in the heck it was. Turns out....our "neighbors" (the people who live above us and run around all night and jump off furniture lol)..overflowed their TOLIET! Mind you, the bathroom is a ways from the bedrooms..so to think about what a mess that would have had to been to be leaking into OUR apartment, through the ceiling. And on that absolutely discusting moment. THE END!